Season of the Witch - For Me It's Been Season of the Suck

Season of the Witch

Which old Witch?  The Wicked Witch!

Year: 2011
Director: Dominic Sena
Overall Rating: 1 star
Rewatchability: ugh
Netflix Link: movies.netflix.com/Movie/Season-of-the-Witch/70126573

After truly enjoying his last two films, I really thought that Nick might be on a roll.  I was wrong.  With this one we're back to the same plodding movies I expected.
After bailing on the crusades, he and a friend are hired by the church to transport a suspected witch to the only monastery that can handle the problem.

AAAH! Zombies - I'm Starting to Like Indie Zombies

AAAH! Zombies

Zombies need love too...

Year: 2007
Director: Matthew Kohnen
Overall Rating: 3.5 stars
Rewatchability: Medium-High
Netflix: movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Aaah_Zombies/70124963
Have you ever wanted to see things from the zombies point of view?  Well now's your chance!  This little piece of low-budget indie cinema turned out to be quite a surprise.

When a military experiment to create new "super soldiers" goes horribly wrong, they attempt to dump it in the bay. Of course there is an accident along the way and a barrel of the stuff ends up infecting four friends.

Hot Tub Time Machine - And I Thought I Had Problems Letting Go of the '80s

Hot Tub Time Machine

"I want my 2 dollars!"  (Oh wait!  Wrong movie)

Year: 2010
Director: Steve Pink

Overall Rating: 2 stars

Take 3 old guys, send them back to the '80s and you've got a movie you watched before...  IN THE '80s!

 5% - Just look how much our lives suck
90% - Standard '80s flick (snow lodge, ski patrol, love interest)
 5% - Look how much better everything is now that we made better choices.

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Or should that be 'Afterthought'

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Is it over now?  Please say it's over!

Year: 2010
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson

Overall Rating: 2.5 stars
Rewatchability: Low

Alice is back!  This time she must battle Agent Smith for control of the Matrix.  Oops, wrong movie.  It's so easy to get confused.

Is this a movie, video game, or just another 3D tech-demo?  I really can't tell for sure, but at least all of the blatant 3D moments are presented in slow motion.  I wouldn't have wanted to miss one.

The Happening - When is Something Going to Happen?

The Happening

the twist is that someone let him make another movie.

Year: 2008
Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Overall Rating: 1.5 stars

Bad writing, bad premise, bad acting, and a pretty crappy ending...  What more could you want from yet another Shyamalan creation?  Apparently the only thing you need to have a film do well is have a name everybody knows.  Even having actors I actually LIKE isn't enough to save this PoS.

Dead Snow - Zombie Nazis!

Dead Snow

The best low budget, classic zombie flick to come out of Norway

Year: 2009
Director: Tommy Wirkola

Overall Rating: 5 stars

What could be better than a classic zombie flick with a modest budget?  Well, apparently the Norwegians know the answer...  Nazi Zombies!!!  You already know the story, and there aren't any real surprises, but does it really matter when it just feels right?

Avatar - Luminescent Plants and Blue Cat-People

Avatar

If that's how they mate, what are they doing to those poor animals?

Year: 2009
Director: James Cameron

Overall Rating: 3 stars

 You'd think the writers would pick something other than "unobtanium" to get the film started, but at least it shows us early that dialog is not all that important when you've got over $200,000,000 to spend on effects.  What you're left with is a battle in a beautifully rendered alien world and one man's struggle between the evil corporation and the tribal Na'vi.  You've seen Dances with Wolves?  Same thing, just with a lot more blue.

Star Trek - The Future Begins (At the expense of everything you love)

Star Trek

The future if Apple begins creating iStarships

Year: 2009
Director: J.J. Abrams

Overall Rating: 2 stars

J.J. does it again!  Everybody knows that flashy is better so this movie must be one of the best of all time.  There is enough white, glass, and lens flare in this reboot (Read: we're completely out of ideas, so let's just change the entire back-story) of the franchise to make you want to gouge your eyes out.